Question of the Day: Are Hummers Tools or Toys?

The Stig February 21st, 2008 6:05 PM Link

Oh this is an easy one. They’re toys FOR tools.

jeff February 21st, 2008 6:09 PM Link

well done stig, well done.

Paul In Jersey February 21st, 2008 6:12 PM Link

The Stig took the words right out of my keyboard.

flummox February 21st, 2008 6:14 PM Link

i will not call them either, but if they succeed only in allowing people to reach their destination (on or offroad) they have done their duty

john February 21st, 2008 6:15 PM Link

@ The Stig. So is a Ferrari. How many Ferrari owners attend track days? Answer: About as many Hummer owners that go off road.

The Hummer brand was designed for off road use with an upscale(subjective)interior. The price point put it into the hands of tools. If it was the cost of a Wrangler then you would see more of them off road.

JN February 21st, 2008 6:16 PM Link

Yes

Steve February 21st, 2008 6:23 PM Link

Stiggy hit it right on the head. Nicely done.

lost in the colonies February 21st, 2008 6:26 PM Link

puleeese ! where i’m from i/2 ton 3/4 ton 1ton pickups & crew cabs etc are the work trucks and Hummers are as often as not driving adverts for somethin r other. the ones really caked in dirt are mostly older toyota’s and sometimes wee little suzuki’s with big fat tires an ya can tell these guys go off road off road

yee haw !!

X3 SoB February 21st, 2008 6:38 PM Link

As I read this Question, an obvious joke came to mind, but the Stig beat me to it. Honestly, the fact is all luxury SUVs(and, for that matter, all luxury vehicles)are looked at with a critical eye because the everyman can’t buy it. Is it envy? Maybe, but screwy standards are applied and the buyers of such vehicles are derided and ridiculed for not using their vehicle for a “higher purpose” or “the greater good”. I’ve noticed this attitude since getting an X3. Sorta gotten The Stig-ma!

Mena February 21st, 2008 6:47 PM Link

@Stig. A toy is a toy no matter if you like it or not. A Hummer as a toy is no worse or better than having a motorcycle as a toy. They’re just toys. An object of enjoyment. So let their owners enjoy their toys. And you can enjoy yours.

Jason February 21st, 2008 6:59 PM Link

The majority of SUVs never leave pavement; they need the lift kit for the speed-bumps in the mall parking lot. As for Hummers, why go offroad? So Bambi can oggle your Rolex??

Gianni February 21st, 2008 7:09 PM Link

I’d bet that more Ferrari’s attend track days than Hummers go off road. FCA puts on track days. Does Hummer even have an owners club?

chris February 21st, 2008 7:12 PM Link

Neither. I havent seen one on the trail or at a work site, they are just expensive SUVs, that happen to draw alot of critsism from a certain type of person in this world that probably drives a sub compact and lives with mom.

X3 SoB February 21st, 2008 7:15 PM Link

As I was saying chris, as I was saying.

chris February 21st, 2008 7:20 PM Link

Really Gianni, do you believe that? Im not sticking up for Hummer products, nor do I desire one, but really, it probably just comes down to production numbers, the odds are there are alot more Hummers on the road everyday in use then Ferraris, therfore probably more hitting trails. And im sure they have a multiple clubs, I would be suprised if they didnt.

Jeff February 21st, 2008 7:23 PM Link

Oh Stig, you way beat me to it. Toys for Tools. They’re not even that awesome compared to the Tahoe/Trailblazer platforms they’re built on since they killed the H1, which, while also being a toy for a tool, it could legitimately go off road. They’re a joke now.

C4 February 21st, 2008 8:07 PM Link

Im also with The Stig. FOR TOOLS!

Ben February 21st, 2008 8:10 PM Link

Whatever it is it’s overweight (very American).

94 taurus owner February 21st, 2008 8:13 PM Link

BOTH!!!!!!

94 taurus owner February 21st, 2008 8:19 PM Link

I just had a mental picture H3t’s running around with lift kit’s and pizza hut banners. Wow an even worse one. With both!!!!

The King February 21st, 2008 8:36 PM Link

Customers that bring Hummers to our store to load large items are shocked when they don’t fit. We’ve put small sofas in large minivans and dressers in Mazda 6 five doors but not in H2’s and H3’s. Hummers are “look at me toys” that are useless for hauling. I gotta admit however, I liked the original military style Hummer that was available for public sale just because they were unique. Behemoths, yes; but still unique.

enthusiast February 21st, 2008 8:55 PM Link

@The Stig - lol I thought the same when I saw the title, I was gonna post that but then I saw your comment. Haha

The Stig February 21st, 2008 9:01 PM Link

Wow look at all this. Ok, the H1 was cool. It was a road going version of a military vehicle with serious capabilities, just as a Ferrari is a road going race car. All the same things could be same about H1 owners that could be said about Ferrari owners (indulgence, useless excess, showy, etc) Not my cup of tea, but I respect what the H1 was. My biggest issue with the Hummer brand is GM is destroying it the same way they’re destroying Saab. They’re selling rebodied Suburbans and pick up trucks, with GM parts bin interiors, and deliberately bringing the brand farther and farther downmarket to the point of irrelevancy. GM has singlehandedly ruined the brand. That’s why I say they’re toys for tools. They’re for people who want to say “I have a Hummer” while driving a rebodied rebadged GM corporate clone.

X3 SoB February 21st, 2008 9:17 PM Link

Stig, much more eloquent than the cheap joke. I agree GM has diluted the brand and made the Hummer a object of ridicule, however I think that my previous comments still apply, that the have-nots like to bitch.

X3 SoB February 21st, 2008 9:24 PM Link

Stig, much more eloquent than the cheap joke. I have to agree that GM has cheapened the brand to the point of irrelevancy, but my original assertions are still relevant, that people still don’t like the people who can afford a Hummer.

X3 SoB February 21st, 2008 9:26 PM Link

Winding Road, include an edit feature!

Jeff February 21st, 2008 9:30 PM Link

I can afford any of the Hummers. They are for tools, X3 SOB (of course if you drive an X3 then your taste is already very suspect!). Stig, well spoken. The Hummer only made sense in its original incarnation - a vehicle for heavy duty offroad/military applications. The Ferrari on the other hand, is always a piece of art, no matter what tool buys it and uses it for whatever purpose. You can almost say the same for the original Hummer for the visceral appeal of a machine very well equipped for its purpose - but leave it on a display somewhere if you’re not going to use it that way instead of taking up one and a half lanes worth of real estate with your incompetent driving.

DieRobotDie February 21st, 2008 9:41 PM Link

unless you are exploring for oil in deepest darkest Canada in a civilian H1, then they really are Toys for Tools.

In Sydney you ownership of an H3 is essentially shouting out “look at me, look at me”

X3 SoB February 21st, 2008 9:47 PM Link

Jeff, why so mean? You obviously have issues. You should seek professional help. Hummers are just a statement, so they don’t need to justify themselves.

steve parker February 21st, 2008 11:34 PM Link

It’s neither tool nor toy … It’s a penis extender.

VII February 22nd, 2008 3:36 AM Link

Oh this is an easy one. They’re toys FOR tools.

Awesome…awesome…awesome…

I’d say that maybe 5% of H2/H3s sold have seen real off road use on the regular…This is just a tribute to the wastefulness of some humans. I just think if you’re going to be stupid and waste money on something that gets 10 miles to the gallon, you might as well ball out all the way! Get a freaking diesel dualie, jack it up real high, crome it to the nines, winch, roo bars, the works. A Hummer is poser-ballin if you really think about it…but whatever, let the babies have their bottles. Some people need a little bit of a confidence booster every now and then, a lil compensation…

You could say the same thing about the majority of super car owners though…How many times do you think they even mistakenly go over the speed limit in their several hundred thousand dollar purpose built tame road demons? Eh…like I said, let the babies have their bottles.

Oollyoumn February 22nd, 2008 8:20 AM Link

I know a Hummer owner who once stated that the only time his H3 has been in 4WD was when it was new, just to test and make sure the 4WD worked. Obviously a GM repeat customer.

It is much less than a tool, even less than a toy. It is an ego crutch.

jason February 22nd, 2008 9:49 AM Link

I think Hummer owners drive around with this arrogance that their vehicle is something great, when really people only look at it in disgust. Kinda like that guy on the beach in the speedo/thong that thinks the ladies are admiring him. Hummers are nothing more than a prop for rap videos.

CARSON44 February 22nd, 2008 1:18 PM Link

Would a carpenter buy patent leather work boots, or a hammer with diamond inset in the head. This Hummer thing is in the same class. Reduced interior space, don’t dare scratch it, need small ladder to mount. GM knows their market and how to make jewelry to attract them. Don’t expect anyone who owns one to see the folly they’ve all drank the $53,000.00 Kool-Aid. As for those trying to make even the remotest comparison to a Ferrari, it’s no mystery that your into Hummers.

tHEoNE March 1st, 2008 2:44 PM Link

@ THE STIG; I don’t why everyone knocks GM for badge engineering when every auto company does it. Look at Toyota and Lexus, Nissan and Infinity, Honda and Acura just to name a few. The Hummer brand only shares the frame from the Trailblazer/Tahoe trucks that has been re-enforced for Hummer use. A clone, I think not. No body parts or panels are shared between them. The same for internal designs. Hummers are both toys for the wealthy and tools for public safety industry. Since they are about the only intities that can afford them.