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Winding Road

Loder Tunes Jaguar XF, Creates ‘Bavarian Siam-kitten’

Written By: Seyth Miersma

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It’s not that unusual for us to find the occasional random press release waiting for us in our inbox, once or twelve-times a day, but it fairly rare that we get one quite as entertaining as this number from German tuners Loder.

The company has done a tasteful job kitting out the 2008 Jaguar XF but the real brilliance is in the verbiage it’s chosen to use in its official press release. Rather than spoil it with commentary, we’ll let you enjoy it in its natural state below the jump.

Loder 1899 Jaguar XF-001
Loder 1899 Jaguar XF-002
Loder 1899 Jaguar XF-003

Bavarian Siam-kitten premieres at the Tuning World Bodensee 2008
Loder1899 makes the Jaguar XF purr

Odelzhausen/Munich, April 23th 2008. The Indian Siam cat is a beautiful and graceful cat that attracts attention by means of her typical, loud voice. Her elegant body language renders her walk smooth and lofty. Sometimes the Siam cat is described as being arrogant and inapproachable. If this is really the case, is in the eye of the beholder. Actually she is the very opposite – a playful kitten that only wants to be entertained.

More elegance and horsepower for the Bavarian kitten
The Jaguar XF has a very vivacious temperament as well und thus has received the ideal toys from Loder1899. The body styling kit, consisting of an elegant front spoiler, an extravagant rear spoiler and a fancy rear apron spoiler, provides the Jaguar with the grace and aerodynamic body line of an athletic race cat. Thanks to the Loder1899 lowering kit (-35mm), the noble limousine appears optically smarter and faster. The sporty motor management enables a performance increase from 207 to 249 hp. Hence, the Jaguar is able to shake off other fast cats easily. Loder1899 equips the Jaguar with classical, selected wheel/tire combinations, which are the cat’s perfect paw-wear.

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8 Comments

Mena May 7th, 2008 12:48 PM Link

42hp increase on a NA motor with just engine management tweaks? Riiiiiight!! And I’ve got some “ocean front property in Arizona” to sell you.

driving course May 7th, 2008 12:51 PM Link

It’s no wonder Jaguar aren’t selling many cars… they just don’t have the right language - ‘body line of an athletic race cat’.
That’s emotive automotive :)

HotCarNut May 7th, 2008 12:58 PM Link

Whoever wrote this is in serious need of a psychiatric evaluation……

Either that or they’re on some REALLY good drugs…..

Paul In Jersey May 7th, 2008 1:45 PM Link

When I read the headline, I was expecting that dude from MTV named Kurt. Anyway, it looks better than the real one I saw the other day.

I hope that car saves Jaguar’s skin.

chartguy May 7th, 2008 2:19 PM Link

While the text was entertaining, and served the purpose of getting you to notice and read the press release, I did not come away with any enthusiasm for the vehicle.

Maybe that’s more the fault of the Jaguar. Not very appealing to begin with, and making it cost a lot more doesn’t increase its attractiveness.

Redshark May 7th, 2008 2:49 PM Link

Obviously, the sales pitch was written in German, translated into Chinese, then rewritten into English by the same people who wrote the user’s manual for my DVD player.

mo May 7th, 2008 9:06 PM Link

when they say “Jaguar is able to shake off other fast cats easily”, that means they are only talking about other jags since jaguar is the only car in the market related to a “cat”???!!!! no wonder then.
this is so badly written.

Robert C May 8th, 2008 6:31 AM Link

So there are no other fast cats Mo? What about: the Panther Solo, any Peugeot (Lion emblem?), the “Bionic Cheetah” Infiniti FX, A Bobcat 4×4, a Land Rover Tomcat, The Mercury Cougar, Ford Puma and the Cadillac Snow Leopard. Actually, I may have made the last one up.

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